Meteorologists can go on vacation because there is only one forecast: heat index above 100 degrees, impossible humidity, and scattered thunderstorms in late afternoon and evening. In town, the afternoon downpour is anything but a relief, as the rain turns to steam as soon as it hits pavement, creating a city-wide sauna. Here at Itchy Dog Farm we welcome every drop, but too often the storm is just south or west of us, and all we get are dry thunder and lightning. It is a harrowing time for the dogs, who all have some degree of storm anxiety. Ace is the most severely affected, requiring a Thundershirt, a pheromone collar, a dose of Rescue Remedy and 4 grams of Clonazepam to survive each evening.
The north central part of the state is the only area of Florida an hour from either coast, and we have no sea breeze. July is not a good month for yard work. It is not a good time to paddle, fish, birdwatch or hike. What North Floridians do in July is take to the rivers in boats. Put a motor on anything that floats and you can generate your own breeze on the stillest of days. Dad grabs a six-pack, mom gathers grandma and the kids, and everyone heads for the boat launch. The beautiful and normally peaceful Suwannee and Santa Fe rivers roar with motion.
The downside of this is death by sturgeon. Approximately 9000 Gulf sturgeon return from marine waters to spawn in the Suwannee River each year between spring and fall. And they leap. In July and August these giant (up to 8 foot long and 200 pound) fish can jump up to 6 feet in the air before crashing back into the water. Nobody really knows why. Some scientists think they use their jumping sounds as a form of communication with other sturgeons. Others believe jumping equalizes pressure in the swim bladder. Other hypotheses are that jumping helps shed parasites, elude predators, or plays a role in courtship. All we know is that in mid-summer, especially at dawn and dusk, Suwannee River sturgeon fly out of the water like Polaris missiles. If you are in a boat speeding toward a jumping sturgeon, you are in serious trouble.Earlier this month a 5 year old girl was killed on the Suwannee when a sturgeon collided with her family's boat, also injuring her mother and 9 year old brother. This week two adults were hospitalized from crashing into sturgeon. Four other adults have been reported injured this month. Collisions with flying sturgeon can be avoided, or at least the damage can be minimized, by traveling slowly in danger areas, but for some reason Florida motor boaters believe that speeding down the river is their constitutional right. Damn the Gulf sturgeons, full speed ahead.
It is not the sturgeon's fault: he is only doing what sturgeons do and have presumably done for millennia. Sturgeon are among the most ancient of fishes, dating from the late Triassic about 200 million years ago, and they have undergone remarkably little morphological change since. They are boneless apart from rows of hard bony plates called "scutes" that line their backs. They are bottom feeders with protusible mouths that let them vacuum up mollusks, worms, crustaceans and brachiopods from the sediment. Sturgeon flesh is edible, but sturgeon roe is prized. The term "caviar" specifically refers to the roe of a different species of wild sturgeon from the Caspian and Black Seas, but roe from Gulf sturgeon is popular enough to have caused a marked decline in the wild population due to overfishing. Unfished, a sturgeon can easily live for 25 years, unless, of course, it collides with a North Floridian in a motorboat.
Craig and I have kayaks and a canoe, but nothing with a motor. We stay out of the rivers in July. In fact, we mostly stay in the house in July. It is a very good month for reading.
